Raw

2 May

This past weekend we ventured to Northern State to celebrate my dad. After 42 years in the teaching ministry, he retired. His school put together a wonderful celebration & my entire family was there for the festivities.

Any time the cousins get to be together is a wonderful time.

Classy Cousins

Classy Cousins

The icing on the cake was that two of my dad’s brothers & their wives came too. I love my extended family, as do my kids. In fact, when G~ tells people about his Alaskan Adventure, it always starts with the stop at Uncle R’s farm. We had a wonderful time together, as we always do.

There was a part of the weekend that left me feeling emotionally raw. My dad, sisters & I had to have a tough conversation about ‘what to do if…’. Never an easy thing to discuss. I was fearful we were going to be very far apart on some of the issues, but we were miraculously pretty close. It was one of the first times we have grieved together for my mom. It felt odd since she was in the next room, but it was sorely needed. We get so bogged down with the day-to-day stuff, we don’t take time to talk about what we’re missing. I am not a big crier, but I was somewhat prepared for the emotions of this particular conversation.

I was not prepared for the emotions of watching my mom with her best friend. A~ came to the retirement party & sat with my mom during the speeches. My mom was getting somewhat agitated & A~ sat there, rubbing her back & holding her hand. After things were over, A~ gave my mom a hug & stood up to leave. Only she was crying. It struck me at that moment, that we are not alone in grieving for my mom. A~ lost her best friend to this terrible disease. I don’t know why I hadn’t considered that before (see day-to-day comment in previous paragraph). As I was hugging A~ & crying myself, I was struck by feelings of gratitude. That A~ still cared. For the years of friendship they shared. Even for the emotions of the moment. It felt very sacred to me. It still does (I’m crying as I write this).

I miss my mom.

IMG_0491c

K~

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2 Responses to “Raw”

  1. Kristi Leckband May 3, 2013 at 10:42 pm #

    We join you in thanking God for A. She has been and is still a blessing to your mom… and to you. I don’t know what it’s like to see your mom slip away from you, but hopefully you are comforted by those who love your mom as well. Your tears (and A’s, too) show that you care. I wish I could hug you right now. Instead I pray for God’s peace to you.

  2. Wendy May 4, 2013 at 6:52 am #

    Love you guys and hate that you have hurt and pain. I pray for some relief from that for ALL of you. Hugs from the “eastern state”

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