Response

17 Mar

I’m sure you all have perfect children, full of sweetness & light, so you probably won’t be able to help, but I have to ask:

How do I respond to my daughter when she says “I hate you!”

When she says she doesn’t like me I tell her that’s okay, she doesn’t have to, but the hate comment I have a harder time responding to.

Any suggestions?

K~

 

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4 Responses to “Response”

  1. Tonya March 17, 2011 at 6:07 pm #

    Not that I have experience with this *total sarcasm* I have been known to respond with “I know you are angry right now and don’t really mean that. But I want you to know that I love you very much.” Or “Those words are not used in our house.” Or “Do you know what the word hate means?” Then I explain it to them and ask is that really what you mean or want to say? I usually give them a big hug while I am saying which ever response I use. It still unnerves me every time. I so dislike that word. UGH

  2. Coley - Giving it our all March 17, 2011 at 8:59 pm #

    I’ve heard “I hate you” a couple of times between the 3 kiddos and I usually just say – “whatever, just hate me from your room.” Maybe not the best response but they’re little, they don’t know what they’re saying so I don’t give it any weight. Making it have an impact is what will have them saying it again. The word is supposed bring hurt, don’t get hurt and they’ll move on.

    • E. March 29, 2011 at 2:41 pm #

      I’ve only dealt with this a few times, but that’s pretty much how I’ve responded to it as well. I say, “Well, I love you. A lot. Now you can calm down or you can go to your room.” But I agree, if you don’t let the word have an impact then they’ll stop trying it out on you.

  3. Kristi March 18, 2011 at 9:23 am #

    Most like T is very emotional when she says it and doesn’t truly understand the word at this age. I think you’d do well to immediately tell her that “hate” is not allowed to be used towards people.

    Later, when she has calmed down (and you, too), then you can have an age-appropriate conversation about hate and how hurtful that word is.

    In my household, there would follow an apology and a word of forgiveness and lots of hugs and I Love You’s that accompany it.

    Just my two cents worth… Do with it what you will.

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