Making Changes

16 Nov

I’m a yeller.  And not a “Go Team!” type of yeller, but a “I can’t believe you’ve had an hour & you’re still not ready for school!” type of yeller.

And I hate that about myself.

In the past, I’ve tried to reign in the yelling, but I always regress.  Usually within the first few hours of my No Yelling Resolution.  I think the reason I couldn’t make the change was because, while I thought my yelling was embarrassing, I never really thought of it as being wrong.  I read this post by another blogger & thought, ‘Yeah, yelling is not great but it’s not that bad’.  Then a while later Jason & I did a bible study at church & a lot of the discussion centered on yelling.  Then shortly after that the same blogger wrote this post.  Something about the 3 things together really convicted me.  I knew it was time to stop making excuses & really make a change.

Quitting yelling is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.  It is also one of the most important things I need to do for my family.  I cringe every time I hear the kids yelling at each other.  They are really good at yelling & they can come up with some really great unenforceable consequences.

They learned for the best.

The thing that finally convinced me was that when I am yelling, I am not in control of myself.  My yelling changes nothing except my frustration level, but even that is only lowered for a little bit.  It never makes the kids move faster.  It never makes them immediately obey.  And more often than not I yell things I can’t enforce.  Am I really going to take away their birthday?  Am I really going to make them go to bed at 4:15 in the afternoon with no supper?  No, I’m not & they know it.

So I’m making the change.  I went a whole week without yelling but blew it today.  The rule is, if you yell, you must do something nice for the person you yelled at.  I owe E~.

My goal is to stop my yelling.  But my ultimate goal is to have a family who doesn’t yell.  J~ isn’t completely on board yet & the kids are struggling too.  My hope is that every day we’ll reduce the number of times we yell & lose control & find more constructive ways of dealing with each other.

I hope to never yell “Stop yelling at your brother!” ever again.



2 Responses to “Making Changes”

  1. Tonya November 16, 2009 at 4:11 pm #

    I hate yelling it always makes my throat hurt but the only time I really have to yell is when the noise level is way too high and I yell HEY!

  2. Diny November 17, 2009 at 4:58 pm #

    As hard as this may be for you, Kristen, it is one of the most loving things a parent can do for their family – AND themselves. Anybody can yell but not very many decide to stop. I am proud of you and will directly pray for this change to take place for you. Imagine how much better a parent you will be and how much better a parent your children will become someday. Love ya, lady. Diny

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