600

This is post 600.  I’ve been feeling really burned out on blogging so this is almost as much of a milestone as the 500th post.

To celebrate, you get pictures!

 

Scarecrow Gavin

Ethan conquering the school's climbing wall

Monkey Tova

 

Creating Chaos since 2000.

K~

My Buttomous Hurts Alotomous

It’s now 2 days post workout & I am still hurts-to-climb-stairs-&-sit-in-a-chair sore.  I have no idea where the Monday aerobics instructor gets her sadistic workouts, but OUCH!

Tuesday was awesome.  Tova & I had no scheduled plans so we spent the morning curled up on the couch reading books & watching a little tv.  We went on a leisurely search for Gavin’s birthday present & had a nice lunch followed by a 2hr nap.  A school day doesn’t get much better than that.

After school the kids had a snack & we headed out to go costume shopping.  Toys R us had a decent sale & everyone is happy except for Tova who doesn’t like the boys Star Wars costumes.  The other purpose for our trip was to spend the birthday money that was burning a hole in Ethan’s pocket.  He has talked about nothing but the AT-TE Walker for a week now.  He was able to pay for it all by himself & was over the top excited to finally have the box in hand.

He didn’t have much time to build last night & I had to shoo him back to bed at 5:20 this morning.  I think he snuck out of bed around 6:30, dressed, ate breakfast, & emptied the dishwasher so I’d have no arguments.  What a nut.

I generally hate shopping by myself with all 3 kids.  Usually I spend our time out & about feeling like I am herding cats.  Yesterday was actually fun.  Toys R Us was laid out so the Lego’s & the Playmobil, the boys two favorite things, were right next to each other.  For supper we ate at Fazoli’s.  It’s not my favorite place to eat but wow, the service was excellent!  The counter staff was super friendly & helpful.  It was an absolute pleasure to eat there.  Ethan was so excited he even told one of the workers that this was his favorite dining experience in all of Metropolis.  He didn’t phrase exactly like that, but I was impressed he felt compelled to say something.  He’s not usually one to do that.

The evening ended with me getting an Ugly Cry headache.  The Biggest Loser usually makes me a little weepy but, sheesh, last night was tough!  Good thing Jason wasn’t here to make fun of me…

K~

I Hope You Like Bullets

Even though Jason was home most of the weekend, he still wanted a blog post so he knows what’s going on around here.

My life in Bullets:

• The Proposal was better than The Hangover or Year One, but not by much.  At least is was sweet & had no gratuitous crotch clobbering
• The laptop is sort of not working.  It probably needs to have a bunch of stuff moved off it to the external hard drive but that is safely locked in The Safe Which Cannot Be Opened.
• Don’t buy a Honeydeepplacewhereyoudrawwater firesafe with an electronic keypad.  It eats batteries & when it dies, it dies.
• On the other hand, if you are a burglar, a Beenectarwell with an electronic keypad can be opened with a drill.  You have no idea how reassuring that is…
• I hate typing on the desktop.  The keys are too soft & are at an angle.
• I need a recipe for Cheesy Chicken Tortilla Soup.  There’s a restaurant here that serves it on Thursday’s & I should probably learn to make it instead of going broke buying it by the gallon.
• I’m really looking forward to Tuesday – no MOPS, no volunteer workshop at school, no class at the Y;  Tova & I might just stay home.
• Ethan is very patiently waiting for his aunt (*ahem* Jenny) to get her check in the mail so he can buy his ridiculously expensive Lego Star Wars thing.  He’s very cute about it.  Whenever he talks about his future purchase, he always phrases it “If I get any more birthday money, but I’m pretty sure Jenny said she was sending me some…”
• I was looking at ESPN The Magazine’s Naked People Edition & Tova was reading over my shoulder & singled out Adrian Peterson.  Peterson, as he’s known around here, (he even has 2 Mii’s, one is a righty & one is a lefty) was moderately dressed.
• Jason is very proud.  Not that Peterson was dressed, that Tova knew him by sight.
• I’ve decided to paint the trim in our house.  Yes, I realize it’ll probably take me a year & yes I’ll be sick of the project in a week, but it needs to be done.  The house looks so dingy & beat up, I think fresh trim paint will go a long way.
• I keep seeing more & more Rural City people at Target here in Metropolis.  A friend said that always happened to her at about 6 months post move.  Today it was you Jen E.  I have no idea why you didn’t say hi
• Facebook’s Visual Bookshelf recommended Somebody Else’s Daughter.  I read the whole thing but it was not enjoyable.  The author tried to pack way too much stuff in the book & didn’t cover any of it well or make me care for the characters at all.  I finished it but only because I hate to leave books unfinished.
• Tova’s bedtime routine now consists of a story with milk, prayers, a song (I’ll post a video of her singing it later), tucking in, & now counting to 10.
• She can also skip, just not in her bed.
• Gavin has impetigo & yes, I’ve been sending him to school all week with it, because I thought he was getting Kindergarten acne.
• I fully expect to start some sort of epidemic at the boy’s school.  We tried Hand Foot & Mouth earlier this month & we hoped to introduce the plague that has ravaged the Rural City schools, but that didn’t take, so we moved on to Impetigo.  After that, it’ll be strep or pink eye.  We haven’t had those yet this year.

How was that J?  Are you caught up now?

K~

Things I Heard In My House

This morning Ethan threw the ultimate insult at Gavin.

“Yeah well, you’re a Republican!”

Heh.  I guess Jason & I need to curb the political talk while the kids are in the room.

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Yesterday during lunch -

Tova – *raunchy burp*

Me – “What do you say?!”

Tova – “That was my mouth not my butt!”

Me – “We still say excuse me.”

Tova – *shrug* “S’cuse me”

She needs some work on her manners…

K~

More Toddler Trends

Some battles just aren’t worth fighting…

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K~

A Proud Moment in Parenting

I’m not being sarcastic either.

Tova had one of her biggest freakouts yet & I was able to figure out what was causing her anxiety & calm her down.  It took about an hour of screaming, hitting, pinching, kicking, spitting, & hair pulling (her, not me) to figure it all out but once we did, she fell asleep snuggled up on my chest.

I’m proud of myself for remaining calm & relaxed & I’m super proud of Tova for being able to (eventually) articulate what was bothering her.  How many 2yr olds can do that?

Thank God for therapy!

K~

Picture It…

The kids are out back peacefully playing.  Jason is ignoring my repeated request to figure out supper while researching such important things as Serena Williams.  I am studiously cleaning up the kitchen when Jason urgently requests I look out the window.  A quick glance out & this is what I see.

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I think I need to find a gymnastics class for my little monkey.

K~

Fun With One

Things easier to do with one child:

• errands
• swimming
• biking
• library
• lunch
• shower
• eat
• potty
• nap cleaning

Tova & I are having a great time, just the two of us.  I thought we’d be bored.  It’s a lot of fun to have uninterrupted time with just one child.  Tova’s been very busy playing with her brothers toys, working on her puzzles without fighting over the pieces, picking her own shows to watch, & she even likes to go to the mall.  She’s not a picky eater & even likes reheated ‘racamoni’ & cheese.

Today the plan was to bike to the library but because the never ending rain that won’t ever end is trying to invade my basement again making it difficult for me to do laundry, we ended up at the Y for a swim.

My girl is a fish.

She loves the water.  Today we tried a bar float.  Tova wasn’t so sure about it at first but by the end of our swim, she had kicked herself the length of the pool without me hanging on to her or the float.  Amazing!  It was so fun to focus on just her instead of trying to make sure she & the boys were safe & accounted for.  I’d almost say it was relaxing!

Pretty soon we won’t have to go to the Y to swim.  We’ll be able to swim in the basement.

Seriously.  Anytime now it could stop raining…

K~

Fashion Tips From Tova

My girl is a classy dresser.

Could you pull this outfit off?

Let’s break this outfit down.

First she starts with a base outfit, striped shorts & an orange shirt.  Next she adds one giraffe sock.  When the other can’t be found she adds a green puppy sock.  Next is the blue ‘fancy’ skirt.  To add some interest, Tova dons the top of her Cinderella costume.  For accessories, she adds her Olivia bracelet, a hair band, her zipper purse, & finally goggles.

I’m sure you’ll be seeing this on a mannequin at a department store near you sometime this fall

K~

What Is It About Summer?

Summer seems to really bring out the adoption issues in Tova.  Last summer we dealt with some interesting behaviours & this summer is no different.

Except this summer Jason & I have decided we cannot deal with them on our own & it is time for a therapist.

We are both stuck.  Nothing in our vast parenting arsenal seems to make a dent in her rages & insecurities.  I was going to bed every night crying because I was feeling like a huge failure. Part of me wants to list the things we deal with on a daily basis but I won’t.  I’m sure I will have naysayers that think 2 is too young for therapy & it’s not really her problem as much as it is ours, but trust me when I say, Tova’s behaviours are not the norm.

She exhausts me.

A wonderful friend pointed out that Tova has experienced neglect & that causes brain damage.  Therefore we are not dealing with a ‘normal’ 2yr old.  We are dealing with a child who has brain damage.  I cringe just writing that.  I want Tova to be ‘the same’ as her brothers.  I want her to just know we will take care of her.  I want her to know we will never leave her just as her brothers know.  But she’s not the same.  Her early life experience is very different than her brothers & it makes a huge difference in how she sees the world.

I know the trauma she experienced as an infant isn’t my fault.  I know that.  But it doesn’t make it any easier to admit that just loving my daughter to pieces isn’t going to repair the damage that was done.  From a few days old, she learned adults won’t always meet your needs.  And that changes the structure of your brain.  This is a picture the therapist showed us to illustrate her point.

It’s easy to see the difference in the brains.  A normal child will spend countless hours being stimulated by their parents.  Each smile, story, baby talk, snuggle, song, etc, all the stimulation a baby gets contributes to brain development.  A child who is fed 4 times a day & spends the rest of their hours sleeping & staring at the same spot above their bed does not receive adequate stimulation to help their brain development.  Instead they take part in the Cycle of Unmet Needs.  Essentially the cycle is this:

• Child has a need
• Child cries
• Caregiver does not respond
• Child learns over time that caregivers are not to be trusted.

This has a huge effect on brain development.  For Tova what her early neglect seems to have done is cement a pathway from the Stress Cortex straight to the Anger Cortex without any off ramps.  She compensates with extreme controlling behaviours & Rage.  Almost nothing can reset her when she’s on the Anger Expressway.

What we’re hoping therapy will do is help us to help her find better ways to deal with her insecurities.  Through Theraplay we hope to reinforce that we are in control & we can be trusted to make the right decisions for her.  Just as important, therapy is giving Jason & I a refresher course on adoption parenting.  Tova has done pretty well with her therapy.  She enjoys the silly games, the undivided attention, & the praise.  Jason & I are feeling a little more empowered & less controlled by our dear daughter.  I don’t know how long we’ll need therapy, I’m just glad it’s there!

K~