Last Steps & Prison

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 04, 2007 10:18 PM, ICT

Tova was born to be a 3rd child. She will not get lost in the commotion in our house because she is LOUD! When she talks, the whole hotel can hear her. She & Jason went down one floor to visit another family & I could hear when she decided she’d had enough & was ready to eat. She wasn’t crying, just complaining. This is a girl who will not be forgotten. She was awake a lot more today too. I think she was worn out with all the growing she’s been doing the last few weeks. It was great to spend a couple of hours playing with her on the bed. She is really going to love her brothers. They should keep her entertained for hours. We had a successful embassy appointment this afternoon. It was short & sweet. We met with Joyce again & she had Jason swear that our documents were true to the best of our knowledge & that we would have Tova immunized when we returned home. The next step is for the Dept. of Homeland Security to run Tova’s picture through their Terrorist Facial Recognition Database. If she clears that, her Visa will be ready tomorrow at 4pm. I’m trying really hard not to think about computer glitches, power outages, etc. The pessimist in me just won’t die! If all goes as planned, we will be on our flight to Seoul at 1am on Friday morning. We’ll arrive in Seoul around 7am & board our flight to Chicago at1pm arriving in Chicago at 10:40am the same day. We’re terribly anxious to see Ethan & Gavin. We can’t wait to smother them with hugs & kisses. We bought a couple of t-shirts for them tonight & we had trouble deciding on sizes. It’s been almost a month since we’ve seen them, who knows how much they’ve grown! We borrowed a 3yo from the shop owner & he helped us to decide sizes. The other items on our agenda for today were to visit Hoa Lo prison, otherwise known as the Hanoi Hilton, & shopping. The prison was very interesting. It was originally built by the French to house Vietnamese patriots & revolutionary fighters during France’s war in Vietnam. During ‘The American War’ the prison was used to house American POW’s, the most famous being John McCain. The propaganda was insane. A brochure described a POW’s day as if it were a day at summer camp. The POW’s supposedly had crafts, music, gardening, & chicken farming to keep them occupied. I bet the former POW’s might have different memories of their time at Hoa Lo. We had our most expensive meal to date tonight too. The food was great though. I had a wonderful bowl of Ham Pesto & Jason had a Panini. The bread at this place was really good. Definitely worth it. After supper we finished our shopping. The weather was perfect today. It was in the 60’s, low humidity & a little breezy. Very nice weather for walking around with a little heater strapped to your chest. The boys have been informed that we are finally coming home. I guess my dad told Gavin something special was going to happen on Friday. Gavin guessed he’d be getting a new toy. Dad said, no, he was getting a mommy. Gavin heard Mummy & was very excited. Dad clarified that he wasn’t getting a toy; he was getting his mommy, daddy & Tova. Gavin said he would rather have a toy. Here I was so worried about them missing us & feeling homesick. Who knew we could be so easily replaced! Kristen

Day 21

SUNDAY, APRIL 01, 2007 08:38 PM, ICT

Greetings all! Day 21 is just about in the books here. We have made it through another weekend. Tova is really starting to show her personality. Much of its manifestation is through fighting sleep and letting you know that she is angry. I just finished feeding her but prior to that, she was letting me know that I wasn’t getting it ready fast enough. She reminds me a lot of Gavin in her temper. He will act in a similar way when he wants to get things done his way. We started this morning by meeting Kevin, Alison, & Jodie for the circus. It was quite an enjoyable time. To give you the run-down, I had looked up the price last night and was expecting to pay 15,000VND per person for the Sunday morning kids performance. As we approached the ticket counter, I could see that the website I had found was out of date and it was now 20,000. No big deal. Then a woman comes up to us in front of the ticket booth and hands us each a ticket that shows 20,000 on the face. She grabs a 50,000VND bill from another lady to indicate that this is what we should pay. Kevin gave that much and so did I, we thought, for two tickets each. However, when she got to Kristen, she motioned that she should be paying 50,000 too. We shook our heads and I got close enough to the booth to point to the 20,000 price. The ticket lady, in turn, pointed to the weekday price, which was 50,000. I pointed again at the Sunday morning price and then she pointed at the kids price, which was 20,000, indicating that I was looking at the wrong price. A third time I pointed at the Sunday morning price of 20,000VND so she kept our 50,000 and disgustedly motioned for us to go. Wow! What fun! Then on our way into the arena, a bus chock full of elementary school kids pulled up making noise and smiling and waving to us and the girls. They were very excited. We were about 20 minutes early and walked into the 2,000 seat arena and were about the only people there. We watched as many busloads of kids filled the seats and the show began. The first three-quarters of the 1.5 hour show was acrobats and dancers and clowns. It was pretty good show. A couple performances stood out: one was the group of seven men who worked with two 25 foot vertical poles. They would climb up and do various acrobatic movements from one pole to the other and back. What made us catch our breath was seeing them grip the poles with their legs while face down to the ground at the top. They would release their grip a bit and slide to ground face first. Naturally, they would grab with their legs in time so that they were about a foot from the ground when they stopped. That was a common method for them to dismount. It was pretty cool. The other acts of note were the monkeys and elephants. These were the only two animal acts, for which we are thankful. We are pretty sure that PETA wasn’t in the back checking out the living conditions of these animals. The monkeys looked bored, scared, and were handled by leashes around their necks. They weren’t given treats like the circus animals that we have seen in the past and instead were incented through the fear of punishment, it seemed. They did ride bikes, which was pretty cool. The elephants did their thing but they didn’t look too happy to be doing it. After the circus, we went to Lenin Park. It was a nice park by a lake to walk around for a bit. We went back to the hotel where K & T rested after lunch while I hunted for formula. I found some. We then went out for supper and have now crashed for the evening. We did receive a bit of sad news this morning. Kristen’s grandmother died Saturday in Texas of pneumonia. She was 90. It is disappointing for Kristen because she would really like to go the funeral but obviously cannot. She doesn’t get to see her family much and her grandma even less so I think it would have been a good thing for her to do. We won’t be able to go but some things can’t be helped. As for more thoughts, we finally had sun this weekend. Today was the third sunny day since we have been here and was the hottest as well. It seems that every time we get back to the hotel these days, we need to change clothes. One of us is wearing a backpack and the other is wearing Tova in a sling. It makes for much sweat! I would also say that we seem to be getting a comfort level about us here. We can find our way around without the guidebook and aren’t intimidated by traffic and people trying to sell us books, videos, motorbike rides, cyclo rides, fruit, hats, candy, flowers, or to stop in their restaurant. We are able to keep moving when people begin to ask us questions about Tova. Many will ask if she is from VN or ask how old she is. We always answer with a smile that she is from here and that she is four months old. Granted, she is not yet 4 but it keeps the lectures to a minimum! That’s all for now. Have a great Palm Sunday, one of my favorite Sundays of the year. Also, happy April Fools’ Day. Jason

Weekend #3

SATURDAY, MARCH 31, 2007 05:55 PM, ICT

I’m going to try to not complain this whole entry! We spent the day out & about. We met the other 2 OO families from our travel group that are still in Hanoi for lunch. We ate at a cafe on the terrace. It was really nice. There was a nice breeze & Tova slept for most of lunch. After that we headed up to the Old Quarter to find some souveniours. We’re finally feeling comfortable enough to bargain, so I think we got some decent deals today. Before we felt like everything was so cheap & we still had money so we didn’t bargain much. Now we haven’t as much cash & haggling has become almost second nature as well as a necessity. Our best purchase of the day was a current issue of Newsweek. We’ve run through all our reading materials & anything newsy & in English is a huge find. We don’t have much on tap for tonight. We’d talked about going to the circus but it’s almost 6 & Jason & Tova are sleeping so it’s not looking likely. Maybe tomorrow. Tova REALLY fights taking a nap. If she’s in the Baby Bjorn, she falls asleep right away & generally stays asleep the whole time she’s in it. At night she’ll put herself to sleep. During the day it’s another story. If we’re in the hotel room , she will fight us for a long time before she’ll finally crash. In other Tova news, her cradle crap (thanks for the term Julie!) is looking a lot better. He hair is growing in again but her scalp is still pretty flaky. We’ve been treating her variuos rashes with cortisone cream & it is helping. Her left ear is still pretty dry & sore-looking so it may need something else if we ever get home. Oops, my first complaint! That wasn’t too bad. I made it to the very end of my post with whining only once! Kristen

The gov’t isn’t working, surprised?

FRIDAY, MARCH 30, 2007 07:37 PM, ICT

It’s Friday night & we’re looking at another week in Hanoi. Immigration didn’t call today. That means the earliest we can have our 2nd interview is Tuesday & pick up the Visa on Wed. & be free to leave after that. I hate the thought of backing the flights up again. I’d be happy to do it if we knew exactly what’s going to happen & when next week. Right now it’s a ‘maybe Thursday or Friday’. It’s pretty depressing. We spent most of the day in our room. Jason did some work, Tova fought sleeping, I read a book. We met all the OO families still in town for a late lunch/early supper. It was very enjoyable. It’s been nice to get to know the other families. They should get their babies on Monday or Tuesday. We can’t wait to meet the new little girls. We’re trying to fill up our weekend with souvenir shopping, water puppets & maybe even going to the circus. I hope it’s enough to keep our minds off of where we really want to be. Kristen

Waiting Game

THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2007 09:17 PM, ICT

Good evening all! We are here to report….nothing! Today was another day of everybody’s favorite hotel game: phone call wait! We didn’t win any prizes today. In fact, we didn’t even wait in the room all day. I met with Dat this morning to give him the medical report (all sealed in an envelope) that he will take to the US Embassy when we hear from them for our 2nd interview. After that, I had breakfast and watched Orange County Choppers (I don’t remember the real name of the show) on Discovery. Shortly before noon, we got a call from Charmin Shiely, who Kristen has been in communication with for quite some time. She and Jim, her husband, are also using OO and K & Charmin connected from a internet group or something (I don’t know). They have been in touch since then and we finally met them today. They arrived today as did Rob & Sondra Schanbacher. We went to lunch with them and it was great to see more people! We have been having a great time in VN with Kevin & Alison but it was nice to meet some new people and expand our circle of support here. They are all shooting for a G&R next Mon or Tues from Phu Tho province. Please add them to your prayers that the province will work better and more quickly for them than it did for us. We are hopeful, since ours is done for the province and it seemed to go well, that theirs will go off without a hitch. After a good meal at the Kangaroo Café we showed them a bit more of Hanoi and then came back to the hotel. It was a humid day today and it was good to get back to the A/C in the hotel. Tova was wonderful again today, of course! She had a good morning and rode along very well during our walk-about this afternoon. She really doesn’t mind riding in the Baby Bjorn. She seems comfortable in there and falls asleep fairly well in it. I think that a stroller around here would be difficult to impossible. The traffic is one hurdle and the quality of the sidewalks and the crowds on them are another. The sling/carrier is a must. However, as today was the hottest day so far, it really let us know how much hotter it is with the “heater” attached to you. K got her on the way to the restaurant and I got her on the way back. We were both in need of another shower upon our return. When we returned to the room, Tova did a little stretching and had a bottle and then acted tired. We tried putting her in the cradle but, after about 15 minutes of cranking, we got her up. K held and got her to sleep in her arms but she woke up when I tried putting her back in the cradle. We went back and forth for most of 1.5 hours before she fell asleep on the bed at 6:30. She is now back in the cradle has been there since. Today was another day of watching her learn about herself and her world. She is intrigued by her hands and it’s fun to watch her concentrate on them and work them around. She is also still very smiley and it’s great when you can get her to squeal and smile! Kristen’s {ahem} “revenge” was mostly non-existent today but her homesickness is still raging. It is hard on us not to know when we will know something. We didn’t get the call from the embassy saying to come in tomorrow. To us, it means that the earliest we will go there would be Monday and the earliest we could fly out would be Tuesday night. Luckily, we already have tickets for that night! In order for it to go off like that, it will require a call tomorrow to get the appt scheduled for Mon. We are hopeful. Okay, I am hopeful. K is doubting we will ever leave. I’ll have to admit, it is hard to envision what it will be like to leave. We have been here so long (okay, longer than we thought) and there really isn’t an exit strategy. It will be a great day to leave and go home! We know that there is a reason that all this is happening. Is is to strengthen our resolve or weaken it? I don’t think that God is putting us through this to break us down. We really need to put Him first and pray that he will heal us and strengthen our family when we are all back together. We continue to pray THANKSGIVING that He has added Tova to our family and will soon add her to His own. We are also continuing to pray for peace, understanding of the situation, and PATIENCE. That last one seems really hard. Those who offered advice on international adoption say it takes patience. I thought that we would be okay but, man, it is difficult. At any rate, I will let that be all for tonight since I don’t remember what I have already written. Before I begin repeating myself, I think that will be all for tonight since I don’t remember what I have already written. As always, THANK YOU for your support in prayers and email. Also, thanks to those who are carrying our load with kids, pets, work, church, youth group, and everything else that we have left behind. There is no way that we can repay you fully for what you are doing. We commit to helping others when the opportunity arises. Good night, Jason

Homesick

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 28, 2007 06:47 PM, ICT

We are 2 steps closer to bringing Tova home! This morning Jason went to pick up Tova’s VN passport. It’s pretty cute. The whole process took about a half an hour. It’s nice to have something go seamlessly. We also had Tova’s medical this afternoon. We went to the International SOS clinic where Tova was checked by a Dutch dr. She now weighs 12lbs & is 59cm long. She looks so different from when she came to us last week. Her cheeks are nice & round, she has a belly & she is so much more alert. She has discovered her hands & is now bringing them together. It’s so neat to watch her make all of these discovery’s. The check up was very similar to a well-baby visit at home. They took her temp., checked her hips, her neck strength, her eyes, ears, etc. Pretty painless. He gave us some meds for her dry skin too. Hopefully that will clear up before we get home. We put some on her tonight & of course, she starts to bleed. Her skin is so dry! After the appointment we went with Ali, Kevin & Jodie for supper. It was a beautiful day in Hanoi so we found a restaurant right on Lake Hoan Kiem. It was really nice, just what we needed. Despite getting closer to being done, today was a really hard day. I spent a lot of it in tears. The homesickness has completely taken over & I miss Ethan & Gavin terribly. Gavin is also not feeling well, so that doesn’t help. I can tell that the boys are getting tired of being away from home & from us too. We’re all very ready for this trip to be over. If things had gone as they were originally planned we would have been on our way home already. That made the day even harder. On the bright side, I have finally reached my pre-pregnancy weight from Gavin. A year & a half working out at the Y & all it really took was 2 weeks of my constant companion, Ho Chi Minh’s Revenge. It subsided a little today & I’m hoping for an even better day tomorrow. Maybe I’ll even be able to eat more than one meal! I’m definitly looking forward to having more energy & maybe even achieving hydration! The sun did shine today in Hanoi & it was a wonderful thing to see. To make it even better, we received a WONDERFUL gift from Kevin, Ali, & Jodie: peanut M&M’s. We bought some fake ones here but they don’t taste the same. And to top it all off, on the way to the passport pickup this morning, Jason bought a Minnesota Golden Gophers hat for 30,000VND (about $1.87). It was made in VN. For the next few days we’re stuck in the room waiting for immigration to call & schedule our Visa appointment. We highly doubt the call will come tomorrow but we don’t want to miss it if it does. Right now we feel our best case scenerio is to have our Visa appointment on Friday so we can pick it up on Monday. Then we’ll still be on track to leave on Wed. Contemplating anything else usually ends up with me in tears. Your comments & emails really help so please keep them coming! Kristen

Exploring Hanoi

TUESDAY, MARCH 27, 2007 07:34 PM, ICT

Today we visited the Temple Of Literature. It was the first university in Vietnam. The park was quiet enough for us to hear birds. We wandered around for a while & then went & had lunch at another restaurant that serves as a training place for disadvantaged youth called KOTO (know one, teach one). The food was good & we enjoyed chatting with the couple next to us about Tova. We also did some souvenir shopping at a store that supports traditional Vietnamese crafts. We walked back to the hotel, & had some ice cream on the way. All in all, not a bad day. It’s getting hotter here so we try to be back to our hotel by mid-afternoon or we all get a little cranky. We also aged Tova a couple of weeks today. People don’t scold us as much for having her out if we say she is 4 months instead of 3. It’s so steamy here, I don’t understand why the locals insist on dressing the kids as if they live in Russia. You can wear sandals with your snowsuit, but you’d better have legs, arms & head covered! Tomorrow is Tova’s medical. She’s working hard on making us look bad. Last night we didn’t put a hat on her when she went to bed & she ripped out some large chunks of cradle cap & did they bleed! Her head looks terrible. We learned our lesson. Tonight, she has a hat on. Not much else is happening here. We miss home more everyday & can’t wait to get back. We’re already thinking about our first meal at home & how much dairy we can drink on our way home from the airport. Kristen

USCIS Visit #1

MONDAY, MARCH 26, 2007 10:12 PM, ICT

Day 15 We had our first US Embassy appointment today. It was low stress, for the most part. We did find out about Tova’s start in the world. The report that we heard today, for the first time, was that she was found by a policeman in Bao Thanh, Phu Tho province who said that he heard a baby crying and that she was wrapped in two pink diapers, was wearing a red hat, and had a can of formula. She was found on December 6 and they estimated that she was 3-5 days old. That is the day that we have as her birthday and I don’t see that changing. That is all that we know for now. Her story, should there be more, is in her dossier, which we will receive when we get her visa later this week or next. The agent at the embassy today said that they (USCIS) are busy. There is only one person who reviews all the dossiers for children in Vietnam and issues the approval. She that it could be four days or so. We were hoping and expecting to have our second appointment, the visa interview, on Thursday or Friday with the visa pickup the next day. When we pickup the visa, that is when we can leave. We switched our plane tickets today. When we started this journey, oh, so many…days…weeks…months? ago, we planned to leave Hanoi on March 28. Since that is only two days from now, and since we are not yet done, we needed to move the date back. Going to the Korean Air office today, we were hoping to see that we could get a flight out next Tuesday morning (1:05am) that would get us home on Tuesday afternoon. What we found out, however, is that there are no seats available between Hanoi & Seoul, our first leg, until Wed, Apr 4. Currently, that is our departure time, Apr 4, 1:05am arriving in Moline at 2pm. This is many days later than we wanted but, it may be the perfect timing, depending on when we are done with the visa process. So, now for the rest of the week: tomorrow is a “free” day. We are going to see the Temple of Literature and then eat at a restaurant called KOTO (Know One, Teach One). This is one of several restaurants in the city that are training underprivileged kids cooking skills. We have eaten at one near the hotel with satisfying results. Wednesday we will pickup Tova’s passport and then go to the International SOS clinic for her medical exam. These two items (passport and medical exam) are needed before we can do the 2nd embassy interview (the visa interview). Thursday and Friday: we are going to be back in the hotel, stuck while we wait for a phone call telling us when our visa interview is. I am afraid that this is going to be a rerun of last week. We are tired of waiting in a hotel room for someone to call us! As for more important topics, Tova is doing GREAT! She and I are hanging out quite a bit and spend a good amount of time talking and walking around Hanoi (I usually have the baby carrier). She is eating well, pooping very well (seems to be very often) and is sleeping surprisingly well. The last couple of nights we fed her at 7 or 8 and she didn’t want another bottle until 4 or 5 in the morning. This extended period of sleep is very welcomed by us. I wish that I could say that Kristen is doing so well. She wakes each day with an upset stomach that seems to go away by mid-afternoon. She is sleepy and restless to be going home. She really does miss the boys, as do I. Yesterday, Kristen began to take some antibiotic that we brought along so we’re hopeful that will help her out. She seemed to have a fine afternoon again today and a good supper. I think that it is a combination of anxiety over being away from home and the uncertainty of when we are going to get back. Since she is feeling like this, I get to have more Tova time so it hasn’t been all bad for me! That’s what I know for tonight. It seems that for most of this trip, we have been waiting to hear about the next step. This week will be no different. We are anxious to come home and know that will happen in time. Please continue to pray for God’s care that he might calm us, provide us with patience, and enjoy Vietnam while we are here. Good night, Jason

Lazy Sunday in Hanoi

SUNDAY, MARCH 25, 2007 05:16 PM, CDT

Lazy Sunday. Tova had a great night last night. She fell asleep around 7pm, we woke her at 10pm for a bath & a bottle, which she reufsed. She quickly went back to sleep until 4:30am. That’s her longest stretch yet. During the day we’re lucky to get her to wait 3 hours between bottles. We haven’t done much today. Tova slept in, Jason did some work, & I took a nap. We went to lunch around noon. On the way back to the hotel we found the Korean Air office where we’ll need to go tomorrow to change our tickets. Our travel agent is having trouble getting us on a Hanoi-Seoul flight so we’re supposed to check and see what they can do for us. Hopefully the power of a cute baby will work & get us a flight out of here. We don’t know our return date yet. It all depends on the Visa interview which won’t be scheduled until later this week. We’re hoping to be free to travel either Saturday or next Tuesday. Tomorrow is our first immigration appointment. We’re not sure all that they’ll ask. Mostly they’ll check to make sure we haven’t paid any bribes & that our paperwork is all in order. Ha ha, as if we had any money left to pay a bribe after spending so much money staying here while we waited for our G&R! Not that we would have anyway Kristen

Thursday In Hanoi

Not much is new today. Jason had 2 orders of French toast this morning & was very happy. I didn’t go since mornings have been pretty hard on my stomach. I’m hoping I’ll feel better soon so I can enjoy a real breakfast. Tova slept a lot today. She’s awake & kicking right now but is getting kind of fussy so it might be time for another nap. We put some oil on her head last night so her cradle cap is starting to come off. Tova likes to pick at it so she’s helping it clear up a little faster. We talked to the boys this morning. They are still having a good time but Ethan typed a message saying he wanted us to come home. Then my sister Jenny emailed saying she missed us. So for the record, unless you want to make me cry (again) please don’t say you miss us, it’s a bit hard to take at the moment Apparently last night Ethan & Gavin were found downstairs at my parents house at 3:30am. They’ve been pretty silent about what they were doing. Jason & I thought it was pretty funny. Ethan also lost a tooth yesterday. We cannot wait to get home. Ethan was squealing in delight after he saw Tova for the first time on the webcam. Gavin was kind of indifferent. Typical Gavin. Tomorrow we leave for HaLong Bay at 8am. We’re really looking forward to getting out of the city. Everyone we’ve talked to says it’s very beautiful there. We’re still up in the air about when we might be able to return. It’s either Friday night or Monday night. We’re obviously hoping for Friday. Still no word on seat availability for either dates from our travel agent so that may determine what we do. Kristen